Singers

I have recently witnessed some of the most depressing events possible at the college I go to. 

Some time ago while sitting in the atrium it was very silent, which is oddly a rarity for a room made for studying, and this silence amplified the event that was about to happen.  Suddenly a woman, who I thought was insane at the time, walked into the large room with her headphones on and began singing loudly.  She was not singing any of that popular trash but it seemed as though she was singing a sort of opera style music.  This person also had one of the largest smiles on I have ever seen, and as she walked from one end of the room to the other all eyes were on her.  Once she left everybody chuckled to themselves a little and just went back to work.

I stood up and walked in that direction a little, being about one hallway away from this singer, I tried to listen closely.  It wasn’t that she was attractive, or had an amazing voice; it was that this person was free. The nature of this person amazed and intrigued me, but after a few minutes I headed back to where I was before and just thought for awhile.  

I thought about what it must be like to be completely free like that.  During a conversation I barely possess the ability to look you in the eyes, because I am awkwardly shy, overly scared, and just cannot connect with most people.  Going from one end of this large room to the other I try not to look at anybody, I try to drift through unnoticed.  I can’t imagine thinking the way this person does.

A few days ago it happened again with someone else.  I was walking up these double set of steps to get to my next class.  It was the kind that has a flat area between the two flights of stairs.  There was someone different seated there between the sets of steps looking through some book, but singing music somewhat loudly to herself.  I longed so much to tell this girl about her voice, and how it made me feel alive to hear her sing on my walk between classes.  Sadly, however, I am not able at all to speak to people I do not know. 

It is not that these people have beautiful voices, but that they are so unafraid to be themselves that captivates me.  

Today someone was singing softly to themselves, just loud enough for others to hear in the atrium.  Now this room is made to give people a quiet place to study, however it hardly serves it purpose.  There are people screaming telling stories to people sitting right next to them.  Across the room you can hear many people have rude conversations with each other very, very loudly.  This person singing was hardly as disturbing as the rest of the people yet someone had the audacity to walk all the way to the security office in another building to report the person singing.  Security walked through the loud room filled with filth infested humanity raging about their stories of sex, drugs, and violence to tell one person that they must stop their soft singing.

Seriously? 

Did this person go all the way there to tell security about this just because the person was one of the few free to be themselves?  In a room with a hundred or so people only one of them could really be who they are inside.  Their singing showed how open they were.  Or is everyone else truly themselves and actually this rotten inside?

These encounters with these people are depressing because it fills me with jealousy and envy.  I wish I could be one of them, one of the free spirits, one of the singers.

-That One Person

 

 

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2 Responses to “Singers”

  1. Defend the singers!

    Set the bastards who tattle on fire, and they will take a hint. };-)

    It’s what I’d do.

    Heh.

  2. Deitrin (or however you spell his name) asked her what she was singing, and she said it was gospel music. I wish I were secure enough to sing in public, and I wish I were happy enough to want to.

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