It Approaches

For a start, let me say that I apologize for how dark my outlook can be. I know no one really cares, but I have lost all semblance of happiness and hope.

It appears that my post yesterday was sort of a precognition of today. Yesterday I could feel sadness coming closer to me, I just didn’t know why. In my life I am currently traveling down a dark path with a light I could just make out at the end of it. It gave me hope, happiness and a reason to press onward. Today I seen that light begin to dim and flicker out. That light, she is someone elses.

This always ends the same way. Either I am not good enough, not as good as another, lack something deep inside, or just don’t possess the ability to see them. I actually had it for awhile this time, unbelievably. Love was mine.

I worry that soon I will lose progress and go back to the way I used to be, wicked and hollow. My light is fading and soon I will be in a dark room, all alone.

A storm approaches my heart. I’m scared.

-That One Person


3 Responses to “It Approaches”

  1. You know, Ertis, it isn’t as bleak as it sounds.

    Take what you can from the experience, and remember these words:

    “Progress, far from consisting in change, depends on retentiveness. When change is absolute there remains no being to improve and no direction is set for possible improvement: and when experience is not retained, as among savages, infancy is perpetual. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” ~George Santayana Vol. I, Reason in Common Sense, 1906

  2. Oh, you know. Says:

    This made me cry.

  3. I dont think you will go back to the way you were becasue people grow up and learn better more effective wyas to cope with things and learn that life isnt all that bad if you just enjoy it one tp at a tiem, thats what im realizing im realizing that i need to start doing what i want without any of my parents permission my entire life i never did anything unless i lied to my parents well thats gonna change i wanna live life, sure im movign out in 6 months but still, maybe ill have to take a road trip to see you =]

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